A Guide to Bipolar Disorder: From Mania to Depression
Bipolar disorder, then? Or as I more affectionately like to refer to it as, “your mood swings with the training schedule of the Olympics.” You’re on one to throw yourself into the garage-grown billion-dollar startup club (spoiler review: you don’t have that garage), and you’re on the next tear bawling the flake away over cereal because the milk had the unmitigated nerve to pour all at once. Good times.
But just exactly what is bipolar disorder then? Take your mood as one of those hotel room thermostats that is Mordor flames or Arctic wasteland. No middle ground. That is where the “bi-” part of “bipolar” begins. It is about extremes. On one side is mania where you are totally convinced that you are Beyoncé (despite totally not able to reach the high note on the song). On the flip is the depressive phase where sending replies to email is climbing Everest blindfolded. In between all of this craziness are the odd momentary instant of “normal”—you know, as rare as seeing one of those double rainbows. Rare and somehow reassuring.
Talk about mania, that is where the “fun” begins. Envision your brain on triple-shot espresso with none decaf to sell short to restrain on. Suddenly any old thing is utter brilliance. Get yourself a llama? Why not? Bet the farm on the NFTs of radishes? Apparently you’d be barking mad not to, right? Just keep reminding yourself there is fine print on the equation. There is always someone lurking around the corner named irritability. Mad someone took too long driving through the drive-thru? Now that and multiply by one thousand. Oh, and don’t short-change the irresponsible behavior like deciding to text your ex at 3 o’clock in the morning due to “closure.” Bonus points if your psychotic break includes hallucinations because nothing says “good life decisions” like having coffee with an imaginary penguin.
Bipolar Mania Is Not the “Fun” You Think It Is
Not all highs are equal, however. There is the hypomania, gentle mania brother induced by one cup of coffee and not six. You are just as sprung but with the penguin hallucinations or the urge to burst into the quesadilla street eats getup. That is not to say the hypomania is not distracting though as in Sunday night going out and remembering there is the Monday morning presentation that you…. completely didn’t remember about.
Now swing to the other side of the seesaw. The depressed phase. Oh, the gentle reminder that you are not Beyoncé (because Beyoncé does not need one hour to get the energy up to put on pants hours in advance). Bipolar depression is not “Netflix and chill,” it is “Netflix and become one with the couch.” Everything is just too much. Waking up out of bed? Herculean. Responding to text messages? Too much to hope for. Seriously, blinking is already on the indulgent side. And trust me when I say the manic highs don’t “balance out” the depressed lows. It is not buy-one-get-one-free, folks. Most sufferers of bipolar spend much more time mired down the depressed gloom than riding on the manic wave. Fun.
Meltdowns, Mood Swings, and That Spinning Fan Overhead
In short? Catch the feel-good season finale episode that will not get cancelled! Spontaneouskaraoke and questionable life choices one minute; all-outexistential meltdown the next because the ceiling fan is spinning too much. Here is the thing—superheroes need sidekicks as well. It might be therapy, good friends, or literally the weighted blanket—the thing is, you don’t have to have it all together yourself. Never forget it is not simple to navigate the bipolar rollercoaster. It does have some absolutely marvelous highs, confusing lows, and more grist for material to get you the guest of honor for any social gathering (or support group).